Emotional Mess

On Thursday I finally broke and cried a ton!!

On Wednesday I had my first of thirteen group divorce counseling sessions. Since it has been so long I thought that emotionally I would be alright and that this would help me grow. I don't know what I was thinking though... I just ripped off a band aid so I don't know why it wouldn't hurt! It was amazing to be in the first session, however it left me emotionally drained.

Then on Thursday I saw the pictures of Dan and Dad. I loved seeing the pictures and at first was really happy but after looking thru them I started missing my family so I got a little sad. At lunch, my team met with a North Point Care councilor to discuss how we are handing the loss of our friend and co-worker Ashly's baby. During lunch session I don't think I said a word but I started crying and worked really hard at not bawling.

I was able to hold off most of the crying until I got into my car and drove between North Point and Buckhead. That's when I lost it. I cried for all of it. For both counseling sessions, for the fact that I am so good at suppressing my feelings, for the changes in a job (that even though this is the best thing that could have happened I am horrible at big changes), and for missing my family. I cried for a good majority of the drive but was able to stop before I got to Buckhead Church.

I worked the rest of my day, made it home, worked out, showered, and laid down on my couch. And the tears started again. At this point, I figured I just needed a good cry and just let myself go. I bawled again for a few minutes before calming back down.

Friday was a pretty good day for me... Marcus and I drove a ton but we were able to get me some new rims (after 3 years I now have round rims again... woo hoo!!) and new tires. Now all I have to do is not run over any more curbs. I love curbs too so this will be difficult.

After that, we met up with Ron, Carlos, and Jonathan for dinner at Chequers. Chequers is a seafood restaurant. The food was amazing however too full of butter/cream and about 10 minutes after dinner ended my stomach reminded me how lactose intolerant I really am. Dang! I would go back again however the pain wasn't worth it!

On the journey Marcus and I tried to get gas for my car but, if you listen to the news at all you know there is a slight (and by slight I mean there is no gas in the city) gas shortage and I wasn't able to find any. Oh well, I figured, by morning some of the stations would have gotten a delivery and I'll be able to get gas. I figured wrong. I didn't pass anywhere this morning on my way to North Point. The one place that I always go for gas has had gas the entire time so I figured they would still have some... however there was none there! I literally teared up again! How crazy! I know that God will take care of me and that He would work this out however I still felt all alone. Silly me!

Today I spent most of the day at North Point at a Walk Thru The Bible - Solving the People Puzzle seminar. We went thru a DISC personality test and then learned about our own strengths and weaknesses and how we should interact with people based on their personality. I thought it was pretty amazing and really enjoyed the opportunity!!

Luckily (or God directed - you choose) my friend Laura was also at the seminar and afterwards she drove me to find gas. However everywhere we found was too far away and had at minimum a 45 minute wait. So, instead of getting gas we left my car at North Point and she drove me home. Praise God, the 2 people that I called to get a ride to work on Sunday to Buckhead Church and on Monday to North Point Church answered their phones and agreed to pick me up! All I have left to do is find a ride home from Buckhead Church tomorrow. However, even if I don't find a ride I will still be able to get home easily... by walking (its a few miles) or more likely by taking a Marta train. It was be a straight shot from the church to home. Either way, God is working this out perfectly and now I am just praying that on Monday I will be able to get gas!

I work with some of the most amazing people!!