Saturday, September 27, 2008

Emotional Mess

On Thursday I finally broke and cried a ton!!

On Wednesday I had my first of thirteen group divorce counseling sessions. Since it has been so long I thought that emotionally I would be alright and that this would help me grow. I don't know what I was thinking though... I just ripped off a band aid so I don't know why it wouldn't hurt! It was amazing to be in the first session, however it left me emotionally drained.

Then on Thursday I saw the pictures of Dan and Dad. I loved seeing the pictures and at first was really happy but after looking thru them I started missing my family so I got a little sad. At lunch, my team met with a North Point Care councilor to discuss how we are handing the loss of our friend and co-worker Ashly's baby. During lunch session I don't think I said a word but I started crying and worked really hard at not bawling.

I was able to hold off most of the crying until I got into my car and drove between North Point and Buckhead. That's when I lost it. I cried for all of it. For both counseling sessions, for the fact that I am so good at suppressing my feelings, for the changes in a job (that even though this is the best thing that could have happened I am horrible at big changes), and for missing my family. I cried for a good majority of the drive but was able to stop before I got to Buckhead Church.

I worked the rest of my day, made it home, worked out, showered, and laid down on my couch. And the tears started again. At this point, I figured I just needed a good cry and just let myself go. I bawled again for a few minutes before calming back down.

Friday was a pretty good day for me... Marcus and I drove a ton but we were able to get me some new rims (after 3 years I now have round rims again... woo hoo!!) and new tires. Now all I have to do is not run over any more curbs. I love curbs too so this will be difficult.

After that, we met up with Ron, Carlos, and Jonathan for dinner at Chequers. Chequers is a seafood restaurant. The food was amazing however too full of butter/cream and about 10 minutes after dinner ended my stomach reminded me how lactose intolerant I really am. Dang! I would go back again however the pain wasn't worth it!

On the journey Marcus and I tried to get gas for my car but, if you listen to the news at all you know there is a slight (and by slight I mean there is no gas in the city) gas shortage and I wasn't able to find any. Oh well, I figured, by morning some of the stations would have gotten a delivery and I'll be able to get gas. I figured wrong. I didn't pass anywhere this morning on my way to North Point. The one place that I always go for gas has had gas the entire time so I figured they would still have some... however there was none there! I literally teared up again! How crazy! I know that God will take care of me and that He would work this out however I still felt all alone. Silly me!

Today I spent most of the day at North Point at a Walk Thru The Bible - Solving the People Puzzle seminar. We went thru a DISC personality test and then learned about our own strengths and weaknesses and how we should interact with people based on their personality. I thought it was pretty amazing and really enjoyed the opportunity!!

Luckily (or God directed - you choose) my friend Laura was also at the seminar and afterwards she drove me to find gas. However everywhere we found was too far away and had at minimum a 45 minute wait. So, instead of getting gas we left my car at North Point and she drove me home. Praise God, the 2 people that I called to get a ride to work on Sunday to Buckhead Church and on Monday to North Point Church answered their phones and agreed to pick me up! All I have left to do is find a ride home from Buckhead Church tomorrow. However, even if I don't find a ride I will still be able to get home easily... by walking (its a few miles) or more likely by taking a Marta train. It was be a straight shot from the church to home. Either way, God is working this out perfectly and now I am just praying that on Monday I will be able to get gas!

I work with some of the most amazing people!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We are so thankful for your many friends there, Kristie! But you know that your very best one is Jesus Christ! He will always be there for you. And of course we will be so happy to see you in a few weeks!
Too bad about the gas. Never heard about any shortage here--just expensive. Have had to pay as much as $4.19, back down a bit now.
Prayers are with you.
Love, Grandma E